Quickest update ever

• Toe is doing much better. Tomorrow I'm run/walking The Giant Race in San Francisco. Tim and I were doing the 10K, but are changing to the 5K (cuz of my toe) which is probably a better move.
• Been eating more real food and less candy and processed stuff. Feeling good about diet changes. Now that I'm an official grown up (at 50!) I think I need to start eating a little more grown up, right? Right!
• School starting, one kid a Senior, other kid auditioning for two theater productions, life -- I've not made time to write. And what I'm writing now sounds like drivel, but hey -- it's my drivel.
• Google "Holstee Manifesto" if you want to see something really great. I bought the poster and use the thoughts when I meditate.
• Speaking of meditation, most days I do 5 minutes. That's way more than zero minutes. :)
• We'll be at the SF Giants game tonight in the special sold-out runners section. Go Giants!!!

Hope

I didn't like seeing "fuck" at the top of the blog. The great news is that feelings and behaviors can change in an instant, and often, when behavior changes, feelings follow along.

Time to stop wallowing and start accepting. And no more junk food. Later I'll post Krista at Stumptuous's writing on giving up sugar. It's genius! But I need to be at a 4:30 appt. Au revior for now!

Fuck

I don't like this. Having a broken toe sucks. Why? Because I'm a giant baby who has trouble accepting life on life's terms. I'm still working out. But eating? Yeah, eating anything I want (and I rarely want healthful stuff).  And although I know this doesn't do good things for me, emotionally or physically, right now I'm very unwilling to change it.

This is my 1,000th post. Wish it were a little more profound. Poop.

Broka-da-toe

Dr and x-ray confirmed: broken. Bummer. I was gonna up my running mileage to drop a few pounds before we head to the beach. Guess I'll have to eat sensibly now. :(

Seriously, as much as I hate physical limitations of any kind, I know what I need to do to get a workout even with a broken toe. So here's what I just did:

25 minutes continuous
30 sec work, 10 sec switch exercise
pushups
TRX pullups
Ugi woodchoppers
30 lb kettlebell swings

My own a$$ is toast. And my toe is just fine. :)

Boo-boo toe

I've had some strange accidents in my life. I gave myself whiplash in 1990 while dancing to Paula Abdul's "Cold Hearted Snake." In 2002, I had Tucker and his friends in my car, and managed to rear end Tim's car (just Tim and Austin were in that car). Yeah, one accident. All of our cars and all our family members involved. So maybe I shouldn't be surprised that I broke my toe while doing laundry. But I did. And I'm not happy about it.

Well, the only part I'm happy about is that it makes me feel tough, because after I did it, I ran 5 miles. To be clear, I did not know that the toe was broken. I heard a crack when my toe connected with the bedframe as I turned to put some clothes on the dresser. And while it hurt, it didn't hurt like I thought it should have hurt if it were broken.

So yes, I, the girl who lives in the house of testosterone and amazing physical accomplishments, ran 5 miles with a broken toe. That feels satisfying somehow. But my toe still hurts. :(

Mirror exercise

It's Sunday, August 7th, and it's day 3 of my streak. Darn it -- missing a day just messes everything up!

The mirror exercise

My friend Donna does energy work. She works with people who have pain or sickness, physical or emotional, and helps to balance their energy so they can heal. You don't have to believe in what she does for it to work, which is great for me, as I've experienced lots of relief from depression because of her work. And yet I don't exactly understand how it works. But I don't have to.

One suggestion she made a long time ago was to do "the mirror exercise." Ok, I'm game. You look in a mirror and say, out loud, "(your name), I love and accept you just as you are, and (your name), God loves and accepts you just as you are." You say this three times while looking into your left eye, three times while looking into your right eye, and three times while looking into both eyes.

Simple, right?

I've made attempts to do this daily, the goal being 30 days in a row. My longest streak is 3 days.

Giving it a go once again, and today is day 3. Stay tuned to find out if, in a feat of superhuman endurance (the exercise takes all of 60 - 80 seconds, for goodness sakes!), Leslie can make it to FOUR DAYS in a row!

Hmmmmm

It's 5:25 and I've been up for an hour. I miss my blog. So I decided to write.
One thing I love about this blog is the history it represents. Nearly 1000 posts. Wow! I also love that it's not as public as Facebook. It seems self-serving to write in a blog to begin with (but therapeutic and fun as well, which is why I do it from time to time). But to announce that same information on Facebook doesn't work somehow.

So today. It's day 2 of a luxuriously slow week at the end of a summer that's been moving way too fast. Yesterday I did some amazing things like MADE SOUP FROM SCRATCH AND ENJOYED IT and CLEANED OUT PART OF THE FRIDGE. Oh and CALLED THE DENTIST AND SCHEDULED HAVING MY TOOTH FIXED. Yeah, I'm fun like that!

Part of my coping strategy for this summer has been a fair amount of emotional eating. I don't feel bad about this. It's a strategy that's worked. Now I want to go back to a healthier diet, so for this week I'm cutting out nothing (hooray!) but adding in health-supporting dishes. So daily it's 2 scrambled eggs at breakfast and a salad at lunch.

What's interesting about adding these choices in (and how difficult it is to do so) is that I love scrambled eggs and I love salad. Why the resistance? Because I've felt so behind in life -- like I can never quite catch up -- that I can't take the time to make either, nor can I take the time to clean up after myself. Self-worth may be a component of this. Yeah, I think I invented "let's make you a yummy lunch, but I'll make do with this protein bar." That's not something to feel proud of. (Incidentally I'm a decent enough writer to suspect the final "of" in that sentence is wrong, but not committed enough to find out for sure (where would I look?) or deal with it -- sigh.)

Perhaps a structure to what I write would work. A certain topic for Mondays, and for Tuesdays, and so on.

I like the sidebar lists I can create here. Entering fitness notes or what I made for dinner is a quiet way to be accountable. (Going to update some lists now.)