Saturday, October 23, 2010
Friday, October 08, 2010
Thursday, October 07, 2010
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
Friday, October 01, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
I will have all 3 splits (right, left, center) down by my 50th birthday in January.
Did I really just say that? Yikes! It seems impossible when I think about it, but I'm gonna try. I do stretch every night in front of the TV for about 15 - 20 minutes. Sometimes we're watching a SF Giants game (go Giants!). Sometimes it's Sports Center. Sometimes it's one of our shows (Mad Men, The Closer (season finale tonight!)).
I'm not even close on any of the directions. But I'm gonna give it a shot.
Thursday, September 09, 2010
I didn't like that it was taught at someone's house. Houses are fine. But I can't stand feeling like I'm in the way. And the room that comfortably held 6 people was regularly populated by 7 or 8 people, so guess who felt like she shouldn't be there? You're right -- ME!
The other thing I didn't like was that I'm not very flexible. And the workouts incorporate flexibility, not just as part of the cooldown, but throughout the class. And being with all the bendy young girls made me feel like the only man in class and that did not feel great.
In July DM opened at its real place of business. But I didn't start going regularly until last week. For the next month I'm taking 3 to 4 classes a week. Combined with consistent running and consistent healthy eating, this is my plan to shed the extra pounds I'm carrying.
So as a student of fitness I'm noticing that there are lots of DM-ish workout places opening up. All seem to be based on the Lotte Berke Method, which I first heard about maybe 25 years ago and could not WAIT to try it. (If dancers love it, count me in!) So this week I've checked out the websites for Fludity, Barre3 and Physique 57 and they all seem very similar to DM. All are based on Lotte Berke with some variations.
So that's all I've got to say about that. Have a great weekend, everyone!
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
So highlights of the weekend:
Giants vs. Dodgers at Dodgers Stadium -- fantastic park, and although we got a LOT of flak for wearing our Giants garb, we ended the evening with some new friends, even though we have to agree to disagree as to which team is the better team.
Touring a house in Beverly Hills -- a 1930s mansion was open for viewing. They wanted a mere $5.9 million for it (!). It was fascinating and strange and lovely.
Lunch in Hollywood -- wonderful French restaurant on Sunset Blvd. I've never seen so many expensive rare cars in my life!
Playing on Venice Beach -- rings, ropes, bars -- all over the sand. Who could ask for anything more?!?!
UCLA -- what a beautiful campus.
Marina del Rey -- this is where we stayed. Beautiful city. So great to experience the coastal mornings after too many 100+ degree days here at home.
That's it for now. Starting a month of Dailey Method as of today. Starting good eating as of today, as I've moved from fluffy to fleshy and right into downright flabby, which feels very very icky. So it's time to take action, right? Right!
Friday, September 03, 2010
Anyway, I'm ready for my clients. Spent a little time stretching and doing some TRX moves (their muscle-up prep exercise works EVERYTHING!). And now I feel happy about trip to So Cal. Moral of this story? Feelings change, and movement works!
Feeling sad and wanting to go back to bed, despite not getting up until 6:30. (Past two days I've gotten up at 4:30 and 4:00 cuz my head started thinking and I could not go back to sleep.) We fly to So Cal today and (sad but true) I'm not looking forward to a weekend away. It just feels exhausting. (Well, anything that's NOT sleeping feels exhausting right now.)
So what will I do? Yes, we're right back to "put one foot in front of the other." Meeting friends at 8:00 to run. Do I want to run? No. Will I? Yes. Training clients this afternoon. Then heading to the airport. And I'm trusting that feelings change, cuz they always do.
So with that, have a wonderful weekend everyone!
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Fun fact: I have a 4 mile loop where I run to Lake Tahoe (the Court, not the actual lake) and back. This makes me smile every time I do it.
Another smiley thing: I've been stretching nearly every day for the past couple of months. Nothing regimented, but usually about 10 to 15 minutes in front of the TV at night. Well today at Dailey Method, I was able to do the barre stretch with my hands on the bar! (Until today I've needed to use a strap.)
Not quite as fun: I've been eating a lot to counteract stress and I'm feeling really fleshy right now. So did everything jiggle as I ran my intervals? Yes it did. But do I care? Heck no, cuz I know why I'm out there. :)
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
- I've decided I really need to focus on what's positive. So "no bad news" is what I'm keeping in mind.
- Having said that, can I just scream a string of curse words? Once again my mom isn't bathed, and once again, I'm trying to shore up the badly sinking ship that is their finances, and once again I come across 10s of thousands of dollars of "assistance" to a family member. It's really hard to keep caring sometimes!!!
- Had dinner/snack with my older son at 3:45 today. He's talking to me again. So relieved!
- The sun is shining.
- Did yoga with my boyfriend this morning.
- Feeling really ready to ditch the "no carb left behind" diet. But tonight is bday night at my 12-step group. Can someone say "corner piece with frosting?" Yeah baby!
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
1. Parents. Without going into detail, things are tough and getting tougher, both for my parents and for those who love them. Getting stuff done feels a bit like steering the Titanic -- it takes tons of effort to make even the slightest change.
2. Teenagers. In emotional bank account terms, teens make tons of withdrawals and very few deposits.
3. Husband. Tim got LASIK (mono vision) on Friday and results were below his expectations by a lot. Plus he had a reaction to the preservatives in the drops. So my normally on-an-even-keel-as-long-as-he-gets-enough-golf-and-a-few-other-things man was scared, irritable, and exhausted.
4. Family. A marriage is ending in our beloved extended family and I feel heartbroken for everyone involved.
5. Me. In the name of "being gentle" I ate all the chocolate raisins. And Twizzlers. And giant spoonfuls of frosting.
If I could do a Venn diagram of these elements, the intersection would be insanity and depression.
So what's changed? A few things:
1. Serotonin. I've been off and on zoloft for nearly 10 years, more on than off, and on Monday I increased my dosage (my doctor has given me permission to do this). Do I want to be the poster child for the anti-d companies? Heck no. But for me at this time, it's the right thing to do.
2. Thoughts. More positive thoughts. These started coming after the serotonin boost, so maybe this is 1b, and zoloft is 1a. Don't care though. I could tell that my "I can do some things" muscle was getting stronger. And my awareness of God (real God, not church God) increased.
3. Connection. Rather than holding people at arms-length, I started seeking them out. Even though I still felt bad. Even though "how are you?" felt like a threatening question. And guess what? Talking with friends helped.
4. Action. My parents situation feels truly overwhelming, but if I just take it one step at a time, and remember that I'm not alone (thank goodness for my brother, who visits them every other day and takes my dad to the store), it's not quite as bad. This week's action has included getting some bills onto auto-pay, deciding on an accountant to do the taxes, and closing some bank accounts. Is this everything? Not even close. But it's SOMETHING!
5. Movement. Literally moving my ass has helped. Did a Dailey Method class with a friend on Tuesday even though I didn't want to. Ran with friends yesterday because I'd said I would be there. And this morning I did pullups, pushups, kettlebell swings, and DANCED to Earth Wind & Fire, who I saw in concert last night.
6. Nourishment. I'm still indulging (and yeah my weight is up some) but I'm adding in healthy options. So this afternoon I had a green smoothie AND some vanilla wafers instead of, oh say vanilla wafers and frosting. :) If history repeats itself, more movement and more nourishment will work, given some time.
The 107 degree heat has broken today, and life in general feels so much better!
Friday, August 20, 2010
Ran 5 miles
Put some of my parent's bills on auto bank draft
Got a pedicure
Run 5 miles
Train clients :)
Take Tucker to airport (flying to LA to spend the weekend with my baby sis!)
Take care of Tim after LASIK surgery
Thursday, August 19, 2010
5 rounds of
5 pullups (TRX, using toes as support)
10 incline pushups
15 fast air squats
20 ball crunches
In between rounds I stretched. Then I set my iPod to repeat "Take Me To The Next Phase" by the Isley Brothers, and I danced. Practiced spotting. Played with movement. And ended with an all-out effort dance that looked ridiculous (trust me) but felt amazing in an "I'm so happy, but now that I can't breathe I need to take a little break" sort of way.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Monday: Dailey Method
Today: help parents, no workout
Feels a little like groundhog day. Almost 2 years ago I was shredding mail, trying to get bills up to date, and figuring out how to get my mom bathed. Today? Same exact stuff! The good news is that I am here to help. The bad news is that I find it super frustrating at times. Good thing we're not judged on our thoughts, right?
Oh, and I should mention that right now, healthy eating is kind of a thing of the past. As I saw in an Eat, Pray, Love promo, I'm on a no-carb-left-behind sort of diet. :)
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Start on time.
Even if you're tired, keep it to yourself.
Have a movement/dance oriented warmup (not 5 minutes of running).
Notice when students are lost.
Prepare so it doesn't seem like you're surprised that you have to teach some stuff.
I'm trying again on Monday.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Today is the first full day I'm feeling back to normal and I'm so grateful! It's tough trying to do life on minimal energy and feel good, and makes me appreciate anyone who struggles with a chronic condition, yet manages somehow to smile.
Last night we had a house full of American and French teens, and it was a LOT of fun!
Life is flying by with two of my own kids, one French kid, and less than a month of summertime left. I've been limiting my computer time, which means there's more reading and cooking and connecting going on. But that makes it tough to blog consistently, you know? :)
If you've stopped by to visit, thank you! I plan to write consistently once our French student leaves on August 2nd. Until then, (insert French words for "be good!"). :)
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Obviously when all you do is lay around, sit around, and sleep, there's not much to write about. :/
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
- Loving eating higher fat/lower carb. Waist down by 2 inches (!). Whole body is tighter.
- Our French foreign exchange student arrives tomorrow night. Looking forward to meeting Ben and having him here for 3 weeks. We've planned going to see Ziggy Marley in concert, rooting the Giants on when they take on the Dodgers, and heading up to Tahoe. The organization he's coming over with has organized field trips (to SF for example, which is a must for this area) and we can go on those too!
- Did Dailey Method today and Saturday. All's I got to say is OUCH!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
- Both kids were gone for 4 days and it was so great being kid-free. A little too great. When they got back yesterday it was quite stressful and Tim and I had some tense icky discussions (not quite fights, but certainly not easy breezy harmony!).
- Still playing with this new way of eating and I'm officially in the low 130s as of today. This is a weight zone I haven't visited in a VERY long time! Eating between 1800 and 2000 calories per day most days, so not hungry much. Running less than ever, but still losing weight? I'll take it! I'd highly encourage checking this style of eating out. Let me know if you want recommendations of podcasts or books that can help.
- Tim and I have discovered Entourage on HBO and are enjoying it immensely!
Thursday, July 08, 2010
Much of my computer time is spent learning more about low carb/high fat eating. As per Livestrong, yesterday 50% of my calories came from fat. That's crazy! I've never been a low-fat eating girl -- NEVER -- and for that I'm thankful. But it seems there's lots of evidence about high-fat diets helping with depression (!) and hormone balancing (!) and body composition (!).
So back to what I'm eating. I eat kinda strange stuff -- I'm the first to admit it. For example, I'm using Udo's Oil 3-6-9 blend as part of my diet. When I have it, though, I just have a tablespoon of it. By itself. Yeah, I'm weird like that. So anyway, here's what I ate yesterday:
Beverly Int'l protein powder (low carb, tastes like cake batter!)
green smoothie (fruit, spinach, chard, lemon)
Starbuck's light bottled frappuccino
mahi mahi with butter and lemon and garlic
green beans with bacon and onion
Livestrong says I ate 1910 calories and the proportions were
I also ran almost 5 miles.
Ok, time to go do P90X (workout of Tim's choice -- hope he doesn't choose Chest & Back -- he never chooses a lower-body workout, so I'm safe there!).
Limiting time on the computer helps, especially now that I'm not trolling Facebook or playing games there. Where I get in trouble, though, is my incessant need for knowledge. It's one of those good/bad things. The good is that I'm curious. The bad is that I can be on the computer just trolling for information for ... well, this morning for an hour. Just looking at stuff that's interesting. I may need to see about a computer time limit -- just a thought.
So yeah, I'm kid-free still Saturday. Austin's at gymnastics camp. Tucker's with my sister and her fam in Santa Cruz. We're not doing anything exciting, but sure enjoying being the two of us. Last night we cooked dinner together, then went to a meeting, then did computer stuff at home, and while we were watching an episode of "United States of Tara" the power went out. And stayed out. So we went for a walk around 11:00. Really cool!
Today's schedule is as follows:
P90X with boyfriend :)
Hair appt in Auburn
Dinner at The Chef's Table
Possibilities for free afternoon include:
shopping/browsing (Sur la Table, Lucy, Barnes & Noble)
gardening (need to pull out the veggies that aren't working)
watching SYTYCD (!)
reading (Hunger Games, Eat Fat Lose Fat)
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
Every Wednesday is Tip Day – or List Day.
This Wednesday: The 8 auspicious symbols of Buddhism -- and my own list, too.
I get a tremendous kick out of the numbered lists that pop up throughout Buddhism: the Triple Refuge, the Noble Eightfold Path, the Four Noble Truths. In fact, it was Buddhism that inspired me to write my Four Splendid Truths (after I formulated the First Splendid Truth, I just had to assume that I’d end up with more than one).
However, it’s surprising to me that Buddhism, with its emphasis on gateless gates and transcending the bounds of rational thinking, has so many of these numbered lists. I love them, but still, it seems incongruous. There’s a koan to be written about it, that’s for sure. Let's see...how about, “Use numbers to throw away enumeration.”
One of my favorite lists from Buddhism is the list of the eight auspicious symbols:
2. Golden fish
3. Treasure vase
5. Conch shell
6. Endless knot
7. Victory banner
8. Wheel of Dharma
I was inspired to come up with my eight - wait, make that nine -- auspicious symbols for my happiness project:
1. Bluebird, to symbolize happiness
2. Ruby slippers, to remind me that what I need for happiness is with me, right here and right now
3. Dictionary, to stand for reading, writing, and invention
4. Blood…between my husband’s Hepatitis C, my sister’s diabetes, and St. Therese, blood has assumed great power in my life
5. Gold star, to symbolize virtue and right action
6. Dice, to reminder me of the influence of chance and fortune
7. Holstein cow, a symbol representing my family. Long story.
8. Peacock feather, a reminder of symbols beyond words
9. Cherries. Cherries are cheery.
What would your auspicious symbols be? Please post them! I'm so curious to hear what other people would choose.
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
- Loving Livestrong's Daily Plate, but really understand what Colette said about getting obsessive with tracking. One of the reasons I was on dailymile for so long was that it's perfect for tracking running progress. But right now I'm interested in more than running. I'm reading a lot of stuff about eating primally (more meat, more fat, fewer carbs and sugars) and so tracking food (esp carbs and sugars -- nothing crazy, but just seeing how I do around 150g of carbs per day) making a lot of sense.
- Speaking of primal, Tim and I are going to PrimalCon next year. It's a weekend conference in Southern CA and it looks like so much fun!
- We are also going to see AEROSMITH on July 23. It's been a life-long dream to see them in concert, and I can't believe it's finally going to happen!!!
- I'm spending a lot less time on the computer and I think that's a very good thing. One of these days I'll write about why I got so caught up in Facebook and especially the games. But for today I'm just very happy to be free from the addictive nature of the computer. (But I get the irony of expressing this ON A COMPUTER!)
Monday, July 05, 2010
Have a wonderful Monday!
Saturday, July 03, 2010
Friday, July 02, 2010
Katie made a list of things she wants more or less of, and assigned point values to each item. Here are some examples from her list:
- For every morning workout I complete, I earn 5 points.
- For every dinner at the dinner table, I earn 5 points.
- For every egg breakfast, I earn 3 points.
So here's what comes to mind as activities that earn points:
DVD workout (I'm just trying Brazil Butt Lift from Beachbody)
No sugar after dinner (this would be so huge for me)
I don't know how many points or what they'd earn, but I'm loving playing around with the idea. Katie, I will be closely following your progress in the month of July. Best of luck!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
But the other reason is that I tried to help some members on the site with a project, and it kind of went sideways. What they needed was taking place while I was on vacation, and I couldn't say yes to what I was asked to contribute to the project. Well, I could have said yes, but it would have felt like selling myself out. I (in a chicken sort of way) sent an email apologizing but saying I couldn't say yes to the request, and I've heard nothing back. So now the site feels kinda scary to me, which is silly, but true.
So does anyone use another fitness tracking site they'd like to recommend? I'd love to know.
CLARIFICATION: No strange interactions occurred on the website. These are people who own a local training business and we met and talked on the phone.
APPRECIATION: Thank you for the suggestions, everyone!
DECISION: I'm going to give DailyBurn a try. If you happen to track fitness there, I'm "ellelives".
Having said all that, life is good and there is much to be grateful for. For today I'm grateful for dentists who can give you lots and lots of shots before they try to fix problem areas and for summertime weather that's not but not too hot. :)
Monday, June 21, 2010
Honolua Surf Company. That's what. They make clothes for men and for little girls. They SAY they're for women, but they are lying. Seriously -- a normal-size man can find things to wear in their stores. But a normal-sized woman? Good eff-ing luck. I pulled a rash guard shirt off the rack. It was cute. It looked like my size. The real size? 2XL!!! The women's small looked like a doll shirt.
I really try not to be defined by my weight or my size. And empirically at 5'5" tall and 137 pounds, I'm not that big. But holy heifer, I felt like a giant cow walking around in this store. And why was I there? Because my husband and kids LOVE store. They also LOVE Quicksilver, by the way, and Quicksilver's sister company, Roxy, has the same sizing as Honolua.
On a much more positive note, Tim had a wonderful Father's Day. We made sure he knew he was loved at every turn.
Ok, enough of the griping. Thanks for listening!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Life's been a little overwhelming ... well, maybe just super busy is a better description ... in the past few days. But now that Tucker has been to the doctor (diagnosis = strep throat, antibiotics are working!), my dental work is complete (90 minutes of work, but I should be able to eat without pain again!), the shopping has been completed (we own all the sunscreen there is!), and with only the meeting with the foreign exchange program (we're hosting a student from France in July) lady tonight, life is feeling slightly easier. Now that I write it down, that doesn't sound like all that much, does it?
So let's talk about diet for a minute. I'm kinda doing Belly-Fat Cure AND Primal Blueprint. Yes, I'm eating meat again. And yes, it's strange after 5 years of being veg/vegan. To the best of my ability I'm reducing refined carbs (although last night when I couldn't sleep because of mouth pain, and powered through an entire "sleeve" of Golden Oreos), emphasizing protein and fruits and veggies, and just trying to be sane about it all. Do I plan to enjoy myself on vacation? Heck yeah!
Regarding exercise, I'm finding that eating fewer carbs means less energy when doing crazy stuff. Like I can totally do my park play workouts. But the half marathon? SLOOOOOW compared to my usual pace. So I may be changing up my exercise routine, doing fewer long distance runs, and more intense shorter races. While in Hawaii, you can be sure that there will be running on the beach, lunge walks, pushups, kinda whatever feels good in the moment.
Well, if I'm gonna exercise today, it's got to happen now. I'm checking out another Tracy Long DVD (can't remember the title at the moment) and I'll let you know how it is.
Sending hugs & love...
Friday, June 11, 2010
So I'm still kinda doing The Belly Fat Cure, but not exactly. I spent a little too much money on Belly Fat approved products (all things I'll use up, but none were necessary). But doing BFC has gotten me to start eating meat again. And with the willingness to eat meat, I can now consider the plan that makes the most sense to me: The Primal Blueprint. There is so much to love about this plan, both the eating and the exercise thoughts.
(do you ever feel like you can't quite get the words to flow? that's what I'm feeling right now. I should probably stop writing, but I press on...)
So the current eating plan is based on moderation in all things, with an emphasis on keeping grain carbohydrates to a minimum. I've lost a few pounds this week (hooray!) but even better is that my body looks and feels tighter and lighter. So I'm spending some time over at Mark's Daily Apple learning about what he has to say about being healthy, the Primal way.
On the fitness side of things, I've been exploring some old DVDs -- ones that I own but have never tried. I did a Tracie Long Training lower body DVD the other day and LOVED some of the moves. Watched and played along to a Synergy Fitness Core Salvation DVD. It's always great to watch exercise videos, as I learn more that I can use myself and share with my clients, a win/win to be sure.
Yesterday's workouts were my favorites though! In the morning I hiked the Auburn trails with a friend. In the afternoon I put on my Vibram Five Fingers and took my rope and a couple of kettlebells to the park. Then I spent 30 minutes doing this:
- push ups
- one arm rows
- kettlebell swings
- kettlebell clean and press
- kettlebell snatches
- lunge walking
- side shuffles
- rope drags
- rope waves
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
First I said I'd think about it, with the intention of saying no. When I really did some thinking, I realized my hesitation was mostly about not wanting to fail, as doing most anything with Mr. Willpower can be discouraging. But then I thought about how I've wanted to get my eating on track for some time now, and this could be the time to do it. And I also realized that I'm the one who makes it a zero sum game and that is simply not necessary.
We started on Sunday, and so far, so good. There are some foods that I normally eat that are considered "good" foods -- raw almonds, organic tortilla chips (in moderation), my Beverly International protein powder that tastes like cake batter (!). I've made two recipes from the book (Garden Fresh Greek Salad and Chipotle Chicken Tacos) that were huge hits with my whole family.
Am I hungry? Sometimes, but not all the time. And I'm learning to rethink hunger. Feeling hungry is not an emergency. It's how you're supposed to feel before you eat. (I read "Think of food as fuel, not stuffing." a while back and this seems to apply.) Am I losing water weight? Of course, as carbs help your body to hang on to water. Am I feeling slimmer? Yes! Is this sustainable? Only with modifications. But can I try it until we leave on vacation? Absolutely!
(I just finished my very satisfying breakfast of cottage cheese, Barleans Omega Swirl, and sliced almonds.)
Friday, June 04, 2010
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
I called the vet and made an appointment for Shadow at 11:00. Told the kids. Tucker said his goodbyes and went to meet his friends. Austin didn't have to leave for work yet.
As it got closer to 11, Austin was still laying with Shadow, stroking her fur. I asked if I could take a few pictures, and he nodded.
He helped me get her into the car and I drove off. I cried on the way. Did the paperwork. Carried my dog into the room. Held her on my lap. Then Austin came in. His eyes were red. Together we stroked and scratched and loved on our dog. And we cried. Right before he left I told him he chose the harder, better road, and he will always feel a sense of peace that he could be there with her at the end. I feel that feeling of having done the right thing. But I miss my dog.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Reagan (6 yo dog) was diagnosed with liver cancer this week.
My kids still have their "stuff" being teenagers.
My hamstring won't let me run.
No wonder "Calgon, take me away!" is what I hear over and over in my head.
The good news is that the sun is shining and life DOES go on.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Something strange is going on behind my left knee. Tendons or ligaments are all tight and sore. Tried to run today -- intended to do 9 or 10 -- but ended up walk/running (mostly walking) 6 miles. Don't like body weirdness. :(
Kids have plans today (Austin's working, Tucker's going to see Wicked in SF with Tim's parents) and after Tim gets back from golfing we're taking a nap (not much sleep last night) and then heading to Auburn to hike the canyon -- FUN!!! I'm happy that springtime is finally here, at least for today!
I'm back at it on Lumosity, a brain training website. At almost 50, I can tell that my thinking just isn't as sharp as it used to be, and studies have proven that "use it or lose it" applies not only to the body but to the mind as well. So I'm playing "word bubbles" and "raindrops" and having a lot of fun with it.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Courtney asked about my leg art. Back in the old days (2 years ago before my parents and teens started getting the best of me -- but that's another topic) I started drawing on myself before long-ish runs. My drawings were always the same -- a very simple swirling line/vine from my hip to my ankle with flowers scattered along the way.
What inspired me? The tattoo I'd love to get. What I'd love is colorful vines and flowers starting at my hip and ending at my ankle, running all down the side of my leg. Wouldn't that be GREAT as a runner?!?! So why don't I get it? Mainly because I'm not really a tattoo person. Well, in my heart I am, but on the outside I'm a somewhat conservative pushing-50 wife and mom. So I admire the heck out of other people's tattoos, but I just don't think it's for me.
So I draw on myself. I use a permanent Sharpie marker, which is probably filled with toxic chemicals, but oh well. I find that this works best if I don't use lotion before drawing. And it doesn't last much beyond the post-run shower, because the sweat from the long run seems to push the ink off.
Thanks for the writing inspiration, Courtney!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Diana -- I bought "Vehicle" and I love it! I've heard that song before, but had no idea that they were saying the word "vehicle"! Can't wait to get out and run to it.
Matt -- Great insights, and I do hope I can post a faster time next time (but just because I want to be faster!).
Katie -- THANKS! Today both of my sons are making me feel incredibly sad and like, "can't we just get through 10 minute at the dinner table without intense anger???" Nothing stays the same forever, though, right?
Saturday, May 15, 2010
So yeah, I ran a 10K today. I didn't go all out, as I have a sore hamstring. But I finished and think the clock time was 54 minutes and I'm really happy with that.
Funny thing: (already posted on dailymile, but in case you're not logging miles there...) there ws a girl with wild Hawaiian print shorts who was ahead of me the entire race. Any time I got into her peripheral vision, she'd speed up. After the 6 mile mark I started going faster. As I came even with her, she shouted "Oh no you don't!" and sped up. I called "You're welcome!" after her. Then she must have slowed slightly because we crossed the finish line with her maybe half a step ahead of me. I was not racing her, but she was definitely racing me!
Friday, May 14, 2010
I'm running a 10K in the morning. When I signed up I was thinking it would be a race with a goal time (maybe 51 - 52 minutes?) in mind, but alas, that is not to be. On Thursday I strained my left hamstring. Happened at mile 4 of 6, and I could feel it as I reached my leg out while semi-sprinting to "I Can't Quit Her" by Blood, Sweat, and Tears. When I got home I iced. Today I didn't run at all. And tomorrow I'm just going to cover the distance, enjoying the sunshine and the race environment.
So now it's almost 11:00 and I really want to go to bed, but my garage is filled with teenagers playing ping pong. They are really good kids and I think I could go to bed and all would be fine. But maybe I'll fold laundry for a half hour or so more, then see where things are. I definitely see a nap in my future. (Wow, I haven't even gone to bed and I'm already planning for a nap? That definitely makes me old!)
Enjoy the weekend!
Life is hard. But it's also amazing, and I will rock the hell out of it.
I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
So will I blog regularly? I honestly don't know. But am I writing now? Yep. So what's going on now?
Well, I'm still running and doing yoga and staying active. Ran the Big Sur Marathon in April with a 4:29 time. It was a wonderful experience. Six days later I ran a half marathon here in town. Whew! And now I'm enjoying the freedom and playfulness that comes with no big race on my schedule. Although I am running a 10K this weekend, but that's about doing something fun, not about a target finishing time or anything.
Tim's in Florida on a golf trip and having a blast. :) I get to drive his fun car.
My kids are teenagers with their own lives. It's tough to see people you love trying to navigate life when life gets tough for them. The only thing that makes sense to me is to love them. Actually the only thing that makes sense in life is love, when you come right down to it.
Well, I'm about to wake up my not-very-happy son (I know this from his demeanor last night and from his Facebook post where he said he wanted to curl up in a little ball) then yoga DVD, then on to my parents house to take dad to the grocery store. One foot in front of the other, right?
Monday, March 08, 2010
Our personal relationships can also be simpler than we usually make them. Whether in a romance or a marriage or a family, the principles are the same: you take care of one another, you be as kind as you can, you do your share of finding new sources of fun, you quietly pass up opportunities to score points or be a wise guy, you give the benefit of the doubt, and you try to make things less insane rather than more.Have a wonderful Monday!
Monday, March 01, 2010
Kristin Coach assignment for this week is to establish daily habits or rituals. I haven't had these since my kids were born. Seriously. No wonder it's tough to consider.
Yesterday I had no meals. None. This has got to stop.
Time for yoga (Power Yoga for Happiness), then running. Happy Monday and happy first day of a brand new month!!!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Now at the end of my 40s, yoga makes SO much sense! The quietness of the mind. The opening of the oh-so-tight body. The perfect balance it creates when combined with running. If I could turn back time, I'd have started yoga in my 20s for sure. However, I'm just happy to have started it now.
The main DVD I'm using is Power Yoga for Happiness, by Eoin Finn. His routines are nice, his voice is encouraging, and his "all levels, all good" philosophy makes me feel great. I own several (actually quite a few) other yoga DVDs and I'm sure I'll be adding those into my rotation, but for now, classes at Sattva and Eoin Finn are working just great.
So am I any good at yoga? Well, yes, in the sense that I'm aware of my body and willing to play my edge. But am I naturally flexible? No. Never have been. When Tim does yoga with me, in quite a few poses he's way more flexible than I am. When I notice this, I think "all levels, all good" and try to keep my competitive spirit quiet, because yoga is so NOT about competition! Having said this, I notice that poses that used to be difficult are getting easier, both because of increased strength and flexibility, relative to what I used to be able to do. And someday I'm gonna be able to do WHEEL!
So anyone want to chime in? Does anyone else do yoga? What kind? What do you like?
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
I would post a picture of my car's backseat and trunk, but I'm too embarrassed. The last 3 hours have been spent going through the piles and piles of books I've accumulated over the years. Each and every book was bought with the intention of reading it/cooking from it/becoming a better person from it. And while many of them have provided value, at some point enough is enough.
So I'm sad because it's hard to let go of these reminders of who I used to be. Oodles of parenting books. An entire bookstore section on becoming organized. And cookbooks galore. I'm still parenting, attempting to stay organized, and cooking, so I haven't ditched every last book. I can assure you, however, if you came and saw my books, you would not have any idea that I'd just gotten rid of any at all.
So goodbye old books. I hope you find a nice home where you can run free and chase butterflies (or whatever books do when they go to a new home!). :)
Monday, February 22, 2010
I saw a method the other day that I think might work for me. (For the life of my I can't remember where I saw this, or I'd give credit where credit is due.) The method was to write down everything you eat in a day on a piece of paper. At the end of the day, highlight what you ate that supports what you want in one color, and highlight things that don't support your goals in another color. The hope is that over time you'll have more positive to highlight and less negative.
Today I actually wrote down what I ate, although I don't intend to do the highlighting, as after running 18 miles, it's kind of all good!
Breakfast: raw almonds, protein shake with water
18 mile run: 3 Clif Shot gels
Post run: handful of seed crackers
scrambled eggs with peppers, onions and cheese
1 brownie bite
1 Samoa Girl Scout cookie
Afternoon: 1 T Better N Peanut Butter
handful chocolate raisins
green smoothie (spinach, kale, frozen fruit)
Dinner: 1/2 lemon-garlic fish fillet
butter lettuce & strawberry salad
5 Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies
2 handfuls M&Ms
I'm not feeling like there's much I want to change here! Ok, so maybe fewer M&Ms. I'm planning on having a bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats with soy milk before bed. (I know you should never eat right before bed, but I've been doing so all my life!)
I'll let you know how the food logging goes, friends!
Some notes from the run:
- Because I was feeling sub-par, I started slow and stayed slow. This worked well. Actually, I told myself I could walk any time I wanted to, and then ended up not walking at all!
- At mile 12 I changed my outer shirt. This I will do again, as it felt amazingly refreshing.
- At mile 12 I also reset my Garmin to 0. From previous long runs I know that seeing the big mile numbers on the screen make me feel discouraged. (You'd think it would be encouraging, but for me it's not.) So after 2 miles, I could see the 2 on the screen and think, "Oh I only have 4 miles to go. I can do that!!!"
- Stopping by home is dangerous, but it was how I needed to do today's run. But it's great to have a home base with the stuff you need. My friend Donna is running 20 tomorrow, and she's parking her car (with all her supplies) at a park. I'm gonna copy this when I do my next long run.
- I've done a fairly good job today of eating in moderation. Normally long runs trigger an "I can eat EVERYTHING I want to" reaction which causes my mood to tank.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Maybe nervousness just comes with the territory. I thought that having already run one marathon, it would be a lot easier to train for this one. In some respects it is easier, because there's reassurance in having done the distance before. The bottom line is this: training for a marathon is hard work. And the satisfaction that comes with finishing is directly related to the sacrifice it takes to train. So 18 miles tomorrow? YES!
(I'm still a little nervous)
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Well, something's shifted, and I now can say that I do yoga. (insert smiley face here!) Here are a few thoughts about my practice:
- Going to yoga classes at an actual yoga studio was a very good thing for me (and continues to be a good thing). The environment is much calmer than the gym.
- Doing DVDs at home works too, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE Eoin Finn.
- My hips don't hurt like they used to now that I'm doing hip opening poses!
- (Since Katie asked) I've tried Bikram Yoga before and I really liked it. But I don't choose to do it for several reasons. First (and foremost) the Bikram place is 20 minutes away from my house. So to do a class (which is 90 minutes) takes at least 2-1/2 hours including driving there and back, and cleaning up afterwards. Also I really like music in yoga classes and Bikram classes are no music classes. Finally, every Bikram class is the exact same series of poses, and I like more variety.
- I'm finding that I move with more ease as my flexibility increases. The yoga and running combo is a good one. :)
- Meditation is the other practice I've started this year, and I've gone from 3 minutes (which was all I could do when I started) to 10 minutes each time. I think the meditation has helped quiet the thoughts that got in the way of yoga classes in the past, and the two habits seem to support one another. And I view each as a PRACTICE which means there are no expectations of performance, even of improvement from one day to the next, as each day is different.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
I've heard that a decision delayed is still a decision, and I think it's true. The lesson here for me? When you don't know what to do, SAY SO!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Austin, "You know what's fun? Trying to hear the fight over you guys talking."
Me, "You know what's fun? That you get to watch hours of UFC in the main part of the house and our family lets you."
Austin (turns up the volume)
Sometimes with teens I think it's best to not sweat the small stuff. So I fought the temptation to get tons of ice from the ice maker, then grind it up in the disposal. Do I get some mom brownie points for this? :)
Do I need to say here that I was just a tad disconnected from my body during those years? Perhaps a better way to say it is that, up to this point in life, I had been treating my body like a rental car -- a mere loaner, a beater, a lemon that existed for no reason whatsoever except to transport my head from place to place so that I could see things, worry about things, think about things, and solve things. And my body got that job done, even though I never took care of the thing.
Hmmmm. I know that I've kind of got the exercise thing down, and that certainly falls under the "quality self-care" category, but boy did this strike a chord when it comes to food. I've been pondering the difference between using food as fuel or stuffing, very aware that stuffing would be an accurate label for how I'm eating these days. You'd think that with the miles I've run (16 on Saturday, 15 on Monday) that I could literally eat anything I wanted to. But there are a few problems with that assumption. First of all, I'm almost 50 and I can absolutely out-eat my metabolism and the miles I run. But even beyond that, is it good or desirable or right to just eat food because it's there? For me, the answer is no. NO.
Today I was at my parents house for 3 or 4 hours. I left feeling frustrated, sad, and STARVING! Not a great place to be when you're stopping by the grocery store. I got a small bag of chocolate raisins, which was a very good choice when compared with some (to my way of thinking) very viable options: frosting and a spoon, all the donuts, many cookies. And none of these options involve treating my body like what it is: a precious gift that I have the pleasure of having for THE REST OF MY LIFE.
I've heard this analogy before. What would happen if when you were born, your parents put a brand-new car in a garage, unveiling it when you turned 16. WOW! And then they told you it was the only car you'd ever have for your whole life. Chances are you'd treat this car with a great deal of respect and do your very best to preserve every single part of it.
That's it for now. I'm hungry, so I'm going to drink some of the green smoothie I made this morning, which definitely qualifies as "quality self-care!"
Thursday, January 21, 2010
- Balancing parent needs, family needs and marathon training is tough. One day at a time, right?
- Clothes are looser and scale number is lower these days. Once again, consistent exercise + moderate food intake = moving in the right direction. :)
- I have an iPhone app called Meditate that times your meditation practice. Used it yesterday. Liked it. Then looked at stats (it tracks them for you). According to the app, in the last 48 days, I have meditated for an average of 28 seconds per day. Laughed out loud when I saw this. Do you think that's enough meditation to see a significant difference in my life?!?!?!
- Still wanting to buy EVERYTHING Lululemon makes! Saw a woman at an ATM the other day and her butt looked fabulous. What was she wearing? Lulu, of course!
- Did a Pilates reformer intro class last night (included as part of my 30 days/$30 package at the yoga place). Liked it. Maybe after marathon I could do Pilates consistently. Maybe even as consistently as I meditate?!?! Do you think 28 seconds a day is enough to see visible results?!?!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Last night our family had dinner at Fresh Choice. Towards the end of dinner I noticed that everyone at the table was on their cell phone except for me. (Tim has a pass on this -- he was checking weather conditions for getting to Tahoe today.) I wasn't frustrated as much as I was dismayed and feeling lonely.
So what to do? I think I'm just going to try to be mindful of my own actions, which means when I'm talking to you, that's what I'm doing. Period. I admit, this will be a discipline for me. I like talking in person, but not so much on the phone, so if I'm having a lengthy phone conversation, chances are I'm also checking email at the same time. And to live in congruency with what I want, that needs to stop.
- Getting old is difficult even when managed well. If you've not taken care of your health, it's nightmarish. My parents are in the nightmarish part. :(
- Running 7 today for a total of 40. I'm a runner again!
- Totally and completely addicted to Lululemon, and want to own every single thing they make. Alas, my timing is incredibly poor, as discretionary spending is needed to be limited (I know I'm not alone in this). But oh to dream... :)
- Weather forecast shows an entire week of rain here. Planning on lots of soups and lots of "I will not melt" thoughts as I head out running.
- LOVING LOVING LOVING yoga! Wish I could remember what yesterday's teacher said that was so meaningful to me. Something about how our practice on the mat is to equip us for life off the mat.
- Quote on the spine of the February 2010 Real Simple magazine (I just happened to see this): "A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness." Elsa Shiaparelli Isn't that great???
Thursday, January 14, 2010
While I like the easy conversational style of the instructor, the review thought she babbled.
While I like that she doesn't take herself too seriously (her mantra? I have a great ass!), the review felt she dishonored the spirit of yoga.
While I liked the combination of toning (her word, not mine) and yoga poses, the review thought the DVD was wrong to call itself yoga.
So if you're a yoga purist, this is not the DVD for you. It's $30 plus shipping, so if you're not sure, maybe find some clips on YouTube so you can get a feel for it. But for me? A 30 minute DVD that makes me smile, helps me to stretch and strengthen my muscles seems like a perfect complement to marathon training.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
- Dharma (duty, work, responsibility, honesty)
- Artha (prosperity)
- Kama (pleasure)
- Moksha (freedom)
Getting ready for my client. More as it becomes clearer... :)
Friday, January 08, 2010
goals, target, commitment, driven, idealistic, future, strength
honest, real, grounded, present, truth
flexible, good-natured, go-with-the-flow, fluid
So the idea of group 1 is that I want to decide what I want to do, and then do it. Last year was spent in reactive mode, to the point where by the end of the year I was just waiting for someone ANYONE to need me. That doesn't work well.
Group 2 has to do with honest food (once again looking to step away from Clif Bars and protein powder as major food groups, and well as doing more cooking) as well as being honest in life. "Tell the truth early" is something that resonates with me, and I want to do more of that.
Group 3 has to do with balancing my commitments and desires (group 1) with the reality that my parents are having big challenges with big needs, and my "job" of wife and mom means I want/need to be available (just not to the degree I've been available in the past).
More as it becomes clearer...
Thursday, January 07, 2010
starting marathon training
physical universe doesn't lie: strong AND flexible?
yoga so far
limitations and how they free me
Have a wonderful day!
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
So I've been away from reading blogs for quite a long time, but when I pulled up Tracy's blog on January 1st, I was delighted to see a picture of us, as well as a post she'd written about something I said the last time we were together. Her words are well worth reading (so go read them!) but what really struck me was seeing me as I ...
(sorry -- a little dog poop in the house interruption, which I've now taken care of)
...so where was I? Seeing me as I ... what? Was? Am? Both? Yeah, both. Last year I lost sight of who I am. By the end of 2009, it was impossible to believe that just one year earlier, I was a runner. A real runner who ran a marathon. But now? I'm an athlete. A runner. And the REAL me is back!
Monday, January 04, 2010
- Kids back to school.
- Put away Christmas stuff.
- Ran 4.
- Ran errands (more than 4).
- Registered for marathon!
- Got tooth fixed!
- Did yoga class at new yoga place and discovered a new song (Rock on Hanuman, in case you wanted to know).
- Watched new fave TV show (Men of a Certain Age).
Sunday, January 03, 2010
I read this on MomLight. It's written by Christine Kane and it was EXACTLY what I needed to hear:
Really? Really?!?! This could be the key to freedom. Circumstances aren't changing, at least not right now. My kids are still teens and they are both dealing with some things that frighten and confuse me. My parents still have big scary health challenges. But my circumstances don't have to be the filter through which I see the world.
A disease of the creative temperament is a belief that we must be authentic at all costs. So we can’t answer a simple “How are you?” without delving into an in-depth scan of our emotional temperature.
Try this instead: When people ask you how you’re doing, just say, “I’m great!”
So how am I? I'm GREAT!
Saturday, January 02, 2010
When my kids are grounded, it's a punishment for me too. This morning Austin, who is grounded, made himself French toast for breakfast and was eating it in the kitchen. I tried to talk to him, but the only responses I got were "oh". So I stopped trying. And there was painful (to me) silence as I worked and he ate.
This is exactly the kind of thing that can color my whole day, because somehow it goes from healthy thinking (my kid is unhappy that he's grounded, he's not a morning person, he's not very happy with me right now) to more global thinking (nobody wants to talk to me, nobody likes me, I have no value). The reason I'm writing it here is that getting it out of my head helps.
Friday, January 01, 2010
Ran into Darla Benfield, my trainer from the Women's Tri-Fitness competition. I haven't seen her in 3 years. She still looks wonderful -- vibrant, happy, lovely. I told her she was the woman who convinced me that I didn't have to act and feel middle aged, even though I was in my mid 40s. I owe that woman a lot, and it was great to be able to tell her so!
Today's 7 mile run went well. I'm still recovering from a slight case of whiplash (no, it wasn't a car accident -- I may write a little about this later) so my upper back isn't all that happy. But keeping my pace moderate I was able to brave the wind and rain and get it done. Tomorrow I'm trying a Pilates class, and Sunday will be running long-ish (don't know what that means yet) with my girlfriends.