It's 5:25 and I've been up for an hour. I miss my blog. So I decided to write.
One thing I love about this blog is the history it represents. Nearly 1000 posts. Wow! I also love that it's not as public as Facebook. It seems self-serving to write in a blog to begin with (but therapeutic and fun as well, which is why I do it from time to time). But to announce that same information on Facebook doesn't work somehow.
So today. It's day 2 of a luxuriously slow week at the end of a summer that's been moving way too fast. Yesterday I did some amazing things like MADE SOUP FROM SCRATCH AND ENJOYED IT and CLEANED OUT PART OF THE FRIDGE. Oh and CALLED THE DENTIST AND SCHEDULED HAVING MY TOOTH FIXED. Yeah, I'm fun like that!
Part of my coping strategy for this summer has been a fair amount of emotional eating. I don't feel bad about this. It's a strategy that's worked. Now I want to go back to a healthier diet, so for this week I'm cutting out nothing (hooray!) but adding in health-supporting dishes. So daily it's 2 scrambled eggs at breakfast and a salad at lunch.
What's interesting about adding these choices in (and how difficult it is to do so) is that I love scrambled eggs and I love salad. Why the resistance? Because I've felt so behind in life -- like I can never quite catch up -- that I can't take the time to make either, nor can I take the time to clean up after myself. Self-worth may be a component of this. Yeah, I think I invented "let's make you a yummy lunch, but I'll make do with this protein bar." That's not something to feel proud of. (Incidentally I'm a decent enough writer to suspect the final "of" in that sentence is wrong, but not committed enough to find out for sure (where would I look?) or deal with it -- sigh.)
Perhaps a structure to what I write would work. A certain topic for Mondays, and for Tuesdays, and so on.
I like the sidebar lists I can create here. Entering fitness notes or what I made for dinner is a quiet way to be accountable. (Going to update some lists now.)