Sunday, January 25, 2009

Mental Health Boot Camp

I haven't written because I write from the heart, and what my heart has been feeling I've been unwilling to share. Let's just say that the rip tide pull of my old ways has had a fierce grip on me. Yesterday I talked to Tim about how I'd been feeling and that helped. And today is a new day!

As of today I'm enrolling myself into Mental Health Boot Camp. It's time to get some optimism and hope and sunshine back into my life. What's involved in boot camp? Well, that I'm really not sure of. But I'll be taking time to write down the actions I'm going to take every day (including wearing something other than an oversized black jacket and jeans, exercising, eating healthy foods, and calling a friend) and will have a written plan before I go to bed tonight.

And to focus on the positive, here are a few very good things happening in my life:

My dad is getting better and should be released from the care facility within the next week, and hopefully within the next few days. His mind is clear, his balance and strength are improving, and his arm is healing well.

After hours and hours of work, my parents house is starting to feel like a home. My brother and I have put our lives on hold and cleared out more than 40 years of accumulated stuff. It's been really really tough, and although we're not done yet, their house now has some life in it. As my mom doesn't really react to anything, she seems quite unaffected by the changes. But I feel like I can go there and breathe now, and I can't wait to see how my dad will react. (We've kept him apprised of what we've been doing, but hearing about it and seeing it are two very different things.)

I'm running my first ultra in 13 days. Have I been training for this? Ummmmm, I dunno. I've been running when I can (34 miles this week). But I'm signed up, and I'm just planning on going out there and seeing what I've got. I considered bailing out (which I can make a very legitimate case for, given my parents circumstances) but I think I'd feel sad and resentful if I did that. So I'll be running a 50K (that's 31 miles) on February 7th!

My NASM CEU's are completed! As is often the case, the anticipation was way worse than actually doing the work. So now I just need to renew my CPR certification, and I'll be NASM certified for another two years -- whew!

Tim and I are heading to Maui on February 11th!!! This trip has been planned for a long time, and it's just the two of us going away for 6 days. I can't wait to swim in the ocean, run in the heat, and see the whales! The timing of this seems about perfect and I really really really can't wait!


Kim said...

Leslie-Sounds as if things are coming together.

Glad to hear your dad is doing well.

Take care of you girl...

Maui sounds fabulous. It'll be a great time to renew.

Colette said...

You sound like you're getting back into things positive, and that's a good thing. When life throws us a major curve ball (like your dad) it takes awhile to get back into the swing of things. I'm sure you've been lacking sleep, feeling stress every day, keeping busy with the clean up of your parents home, the regular life stresses, trying to fit in your running, work, etc. With all this going on, it's no wonder you haven't been feeling yourself. Now that the home is cleaned out and your dad is getting better, I can see that you are feeling better as each layer of yuck comes off.

Keep thinking about that wonderful trip you and hubby will be on and all the great things the two of you will be doing together ;)

Brit-Man said...

I'm sure things are going to work out for you. You needn't worry too much about what sort of person you are. There are a plethera of positives about you, and always will be.

Take care and best wishes.

:-) :-).


Shelly said...

You are a tough lady, leslie! Sounds like you have things under control, and glad you see all the wonderfulness that is coming your way. Stay the path, girl.
Hugs, Shelly

Jennifer said...

OMG, You ARE human! I have wondered on occasion when you seem to be superwoman. My admiration grows. Happy thoughts and positive vibes, my friend. I look forward to hearing all the wonderful stories about your vacation--especially the jump off the waterfall (no, I'm not giving up that dream!).

aron said...

GAH sounds like these "funks" are definitely going around. i have no doubt you will be out of it soon, especially after a mental health bootcamp and trip to maui (so jealous)!! :) big hugs being sent your way and cant wait to hear how the ultra goes!

Diana said...

Sometimes physical health is easier to deal with than fixing our mental health! Best of luck and great news on your Dad's condition.
Good luck on Feb 7th! Congrats on the NASM, and have fun in Maui!

tfh said...

Keep taking care of YOU. Mental health bootcamp sounds like just the thing, and you DESERVE that Maui trip. I'm glad to hear you're sticking with the 50k plan-- you'll be awesome and that sounds to me like a great way to face down any demons before heading to the beach.