Friday, May 22, 2009

More laughter

Girlfriend Linda who (sadly) lives in Chicago and not RIGHT NEXT DOOR alerted me to this laugh-out-loud funny weblog: Wendi Aarons. (The title is the author's name -- there is not hidden humor in it.)

Here's a sample of the fun. For some reason I think Colette, Eileen, and Katie will enjoy it most...

Lessons Learned Last Week

Monday
Make the shocking discovery that it's never a good idea to use the term "douchebag" in a PTA meeting. Even if the person you're talking about just so happens to be a really, really big one. Isn't that right, Angela?

Tuesday
At a party, find out that shaping your hair into a nice, high pompadour while drunkenly screaming, "Look! Look at me! I'm in Big Love, baby! Look! I have compound hair! See it? See it? Now, where my sista wives at? Come on, you bee-yotches! Let's fight! MY Bill Paxton! MY Bill Paxton! Hahahaha! Rawrrr!", is actually not something that will make you popular and fun to be around.

Wednesday
During rare visit to the gym, discover that nobody is impressed by a 17-minute mile. Especially when you tell them you sprinted the whole way.

Thursday
Learn that, even if you tell your husband that tonight's dinner will be "tender crescents of imported whole-grain pasta smothered in a pool of rich, succulent, sunset-colored baby cheddar and lovingly paired with an organic butter reduction," he still won't be happy you've made box mac 'n cheese again.

Friday
While watching a DVD, realize that, after one glass of wine, Matthew McConaughey isn't really such a terrible actor after all. After two glasses of wine, happily take back all of the nasty things you've said about him throughout the years. After three glasses of wine, begin to weep over the nuances he's bringing to the role of a romantic cad with a heart of gold. After four glasses of wine, stand up on the couch and howl, "Mathhhhhewwwwww Mc... Mc... Conorwee!!! I LOVVVVEEEE YEWWWWW!!" After five glasses of wine, rifle through stacks of old US Weeklys and lick pictures of Matthew doing shirtless yoga poses.

Pass out with disc of How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days stuck to right cheek and a hand-written note reading "Help Me" stuck to the left.

Saturday & Sunday
Stay in bed recovering from week full of life lessons. While difficult at times, know the experience was worth it. Relax, meditate and promise to be a better person from now on.

Monday
Make the shocking discovery that it's never a good idea to use the term "asswipe" at a PTA meeting. Even if the person you're talking about just so happens to be a really, really big one. Isn't that right, Angela?

7 comments:

Eileen said...

You're right...I love it! Very funny... I've definitely added her to my Google Reader list!

Brit-Man said...

The main thing is you learned something(s), which I suppose you look at in a positive way :-p :-p.

Take care and best wishes.

Matt

KatieFeldmom said...

LOL. I've not yet experienced a "good" PTA meeting yet. LOL at mac 'n cheese .... I need a better description for Top Ramen noodles. I haven't been in the kitchen lately and that's what hubby's been eating.

Irene said...

I'm still laughing at Friday!

Thanks for the laughs!

jen-x said...

Hi Leslie,
And I see some more familiar faces here.

You are doing a marathon! You rule. I can't even imagine.

Are you kids still in gymnastics? Hope all is well and have fun with that training.

jen

Joyce said...

I'm definitely a Monday sort. I'm always making socially-inappropriate comments, lol.

Thanks for stopping by my blog, and yes, I'm interested in Art of Strength: Providence! What kinds of routines are on it, or is it more a primer on kettlebell technique? I'll also do an online search on it later. Hadn't thought about using wristbands while doing kb workouts, either. Now I have an excuse to hit Sports Authority again.

Colette said...

Okay, at first I was thinking,"what the hell happened" then I realized that you were joking (the drinking worried me).

I use the word douchebag all the time and don't care who hears it!

Hava a great day my friend!