I read many wonderful blogs. Today's title comes from OnSimplicity.net in a post titled "Pushing the Reset Button on Your Life." I feel like I'm there right now. It's time to examine my life and how things are working for me. What areas are up for examination? In theory, everything's a candidate. But right now here's what on my radar:
How I Eat -- Your comments helped me to make my decision. I'm eating meat again. Not a lot. But enough that I can actually taste and eat what I cook for my family. The choice feels like a very good one at this time.
How I Exercise -- Not sure I want to do crazy long running. In the same way that cutting entire food groups out of my diet feels extreme, so does trying to run 30+ miles per week. I may go back to my "staying in half marathon shape" goal, which is what I started with before I ran the marathon and the ultra.
How I Start My Day -- Once again I'm trying to start my day in a positive way. It's just so easy to jump onto the computer and click stuff as I wake up. But is that the best way to start? NO! Prayer, spiritual reading, and exercise produce a much better mindset and outlook.
How I Relate to my Kids -- Over time I've let my authority as a mom erode to where I think I'm viewed as a friendly servant. And this becomes a vicious cycle where I make choices (picking up their clothes, dropping whatever I'm doing to transport them, and so on) that make me feel devalued AND perpetuate the "friendly servant" persona and feed my depressed feelings. As today is their last day of school, it's time to get them to man up (literally!) and make more of a contribution. They'll feel better and I'll feel better.
On another note -- We had violent thunderstorms throughout the night last night. At times it was so loud that it hurt my ears. My neighbor across the street had pictures fall off her walls, and figurines topple and crash off her bookcases, and has charred electrical outlets. Our power was out for maybe 6 or 7 hours, and the simplicity was really really nice.
9 comments:
Simplicity IS nice, sometimes I wonder why I didn't live back in the "Little House on the Prairie" days!
WOW on the storms. Near Elk Grove, we just had a little bit of thunder (nothing too scary -- didn't wake up the kid) and lots of lightening.
Hey Leslie -
I've been reading your blog for a while, and just thought I'd add an additional comment. I really appreciate how open and forthright you are about things you struggle with. I think sometimes we work so hard at how we look on the outside "look at me, I'm keeping it together!" that we don't take notice of how it's affecting us. Your blog (even the title) frequently reminds me that I, too, am human and it's ok. Thanks for being an inspiration! (oh, and welcome back on the carnivore bandwagon - I love the paleo(primal) diet and really think there's something to it)
That storm was wonderful! Ashley and I were driving back from the bay and lightning was all around us rapid fire...of course getting woken up at 12:30 with the loudest thunder was not fun ;)
Yes, it is time for your boys to man up. Your oldest for sure can do stuff around the house. Justin was doing his own laundry by age 12 and he has been cooking for a few years now. We need to make "men" out of our sons so they can take care of themselves when on their own. Also, why cart them all over? I know Ash and her friends get dropped off in Rocklin and they walk around all over...from Park Dr to the mall sometimes! They love it.
I like the fact that you have decided to join the family and eat some meat and not go crazy on the running. It seems like you have the personality of all or nothing, so it's nice to see you coming in the middle ;)
Your thoughts seem to be going in the right, healthy, positive direction and that puts a smile on my face :)
Hi Leslie,
Do you mind if I add you to my blogroll? Let me know if it's a horrifying prospect and I'll take you off. :-)
Good stuff here, Leslie. I hope you have a wonderful summer while the kids are out of school.
I am sure that will get the things you need to do, sorted in your own mind.
The main thing is never to be hard on yourself for being human. If you weren't human, you'd be a cold, unthinking person and probably lowest of the low.
There is a lot of immense value to a person like you, that right now this world needs. You DO make a small difference to many people, and that's important, in just the same way as people who are world icons.
Also some people make an impact on many people, but for the wrong reason, I.E. George Bush.
So I understand and empathise with your point, about you feeling a little devalued perhaps, but one thing you will never ever lack is self worth, or the ability to be everything and more to those that know you.
It's always a supreme privilege to know you in any way, and to be touched by you in any way.
That is amazing worth, no money could ever buy, and you ARE worth a lot to yourself, and others and importantly to this world.
Your legacy in many years time, may not be life changing or world renowned, but it will be something to look back on and be very, very proud of.
So chin up, keep smiling, and be proud of who you are. One or two little concerns regarding how you feel about yourself, will never detract overall, from the person you are, unless you let them.
I have every belief you will overcome little things, and feel more in touch with yourself.
I wish you a lot of luck and best wishes, and remember, you are human, so take it easy on yourself okay :-) :-).
Matt
Oh boy, thunderstorms! I used to like them but now they kind of scare me, especially during the night. I don't like things shaking and falling. It reminds me of earthquakes too much.
as we only know each other thru this blog and one meetup in sac i can't say much on a personal level about your struggles/questions/challenges. but, from what i do know of you i can say without reservation is that you are so going to come out on top. embrace the questions...they are opening the doors to a more joyful life. you are a star. and HAWAII's on the horizon. aloha!
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