Thursday, June 21, 2007

My new motto

I have signs that say this everywhere that matters -- in my car, on the mirror in the bathroom, and on my computer. And it's helping me to handle the summer in a different way.

As I think back on growing up, it's true that every experience has made us what we are now. And I'm not looking to erase the past, but I know that mirroring the way I was parented is NOT the way I want to parent.

So I was thinking about how I just lie down and say "whatever" to a degree that causes a lot of resentment and anger. And then I was thinking, "Well, what do I really want?" The answer is this: I want to get some things accomplished that are important to me. And I think a big part of my problem is that I am, in essence, a Type A personality who has contorted herself to fit into a Type B lifestyle. That's why it's not working.

So the signs are reminding me that it's ok to want to see something through. To say, "Yes, but later" to requests that would completely derail me. And they're working. Here's a small example: right now the kids are swimming with three of their friends. (I have no music or TV on, and I'm listening to make sure they stay safe and sane!) But Tucker's had some pain in his foot and wants me to take him to the doctor (it's been going on for a while). I called and they had a 2:15 appointment. Did I take it? You betcha! So yeah, the kids will "only" get to swim for 45 minutes, and not the customary 3 hours. And that's ok. That's better than ok -- that's GREAT because this way they get play with their friends (I didn't mention that they've all been here for a couple of hours already, so it's not like they're having no fun!) AND I get to do what's important to me.

Time to feed the pool boys...


KatieFeldmom said...

Glad that you feel better about the travels!!! You're going to have a great time!!!

Brit-Man said...

You've got your own groove Leslie, and you've got your own way of being you, so you don't need to box yourself, and categorise yourself.

You're a unique individual, and there are very special qualities about you, that make you as unique as the next person, in your own unique way.

So don't worry about being someone you're not, or being like others you'd rather not be like, just be the person you feel most comfortable with, attatched to, and happiest being.

It won't make you a lesser person, just allow you to release all of your emotional potential, all of the time.

That's the you you deserve to be. Someone with emotional uniqueness, and individuality of character.

That's the kind of person you can be, and I know despite sometimes having one or two emotional / mental wobbles, as you've stated before, you CAN find a wonderful balance on the inside, and realise more of your overall humanity, and womanhood, that you might feel is not quite naturally occuring yet.

You're going to be fine Leslie. People like you deserve to feel complete, whole and very valuable to all around you, and you are valuable to those around you, and there would be a tiny part of me, that would be lost, if you weren't part of my life, that's a given, and I've come to understand you for all the things you are, and all the little things that make you you, and there's virtually noting I can see that you need to change about yourself.

You've come a long way in 46 years, but you've become exceptionally human, and that's to be admired, applauded, respected, and understood, so don't you worry about being someone you're not.

You CAN and WILL find the complete you on the inside, and discover that long sought for balance you want and deserve.

GOOD LUCK Leslie, and don't forget what you're worth as a person, because people don't need vast sums of money to be happy, they just need a comfortable life and a nice amount of Leslie type people in their lives, to give them more emotional richness.

I'm grateful for that small piece of emotional wealth, you give to people like me, and I wouldn't change a thing about that at all.

Take care and best wishes :-) :-).


Laurie said...

I'm a Type A too and I embrace my list making organized tendencies without them I just float and accomplish nothing and then I'm so not happy.