I have signs that say this everywhere that matters -- in my car, on the mirror in the bathroom, and on my computer. And it's helping me to handle the summer in a different way.
As I think back on growing up, it's true that every experience has made us what we are now. And I'm not looking to erase the past, but I know that mirroring the way I was parented is NOT the way I want to parent.
So I was thinking about how I just lie down and say "whatever" to a degree that causes a lot of resentment and anger. And then I was thinking, "Well, what do I really want?" The answer is this: I want to get some things accomplished that are important to me. And I think a big part of my problem is that I am, in essence, a Type A personality who has contorted herself to fit into a Type B lifestyle. That's why it's not working.
So the signs are reminding me that it's ok to want to see something through. To say, "Yes, but later" to requests that would completely derail me. And they're working. Here's a small example: right now the kids are swimming with three of their friends. (I have no music or TV on, and I'm listening to make sure they stay safe and sane!) But Tucker's had some pain in his foot and wants me to take him to the doctor (it's been going on for a while). I called and they had a 2:15 appointment. Did I take it? You betcha! So yeah, the kids will "only" get to swim for 45 minutes, and not the customary 3 hours. And that's ok. That's better than ok -- that's GREAT because this way they get play with their friends (I didn't mention that they've all been here for a couple of hours already, so it's not like they're having no fun!) AND I get to do what's important to me.
Time to feed the pool boys...