Saturday, December 22, 2007

Ego and defiance

I was reading the instructions for Holosync this morning, and read this: When people occasionally have trouble with the program, it's almost always because they failed to take a few moments to read the instructions and support material.

Then the thought occurred: when I have trouble with anything, it's because I refuse to follow directions. That's the truth. I'm not sure if it's my ego (I'm better than that!) or just a complete lack of maturity (I WON'T, and you can't make me!), but If a study guide says to study 30 minutes a day, you'd better believe I'm going to try to do 3-1/2 hours one day (it's the same amount of time, right?!?!). And if the instructions say, "For best results ..." I'm already formulating a "better" plan for me.

As time has gone on, I've gotten better at following directions, mainly because my tolerance for emotional pain has lessened over the years, which is a good thing indeed! And I don't know if it's time or sobriety (almost 23 years!) or maturity that has moved me towards ... towards what? I'm not sure what to call it. All I know is that life seems to work better when I have a willingness to follow directions.

On that happy note, it's time to meditate. (No that's not a joke -- I'm really going to sit here for an hour (!) and be still.)


Colette said...

wow! 23 years?? That is a wonderful achievement and success. I'm so proud/happy for you!

Yes, following directions is not for, I have to. Justin, not so much ;)

You actually meditate for one full hour?? I don't think I could do that at all...maybe 15 minutes, maybe. Wow!

Have a super weekend girlfriend ;)

Anonymous said...


that is great, I am super proud of you as well!!

I am the same way if I don't follow directions..forget it am done!!

great work on the meditation, it does help..just got to stick with it. if you want we can be each other's meditation reminder :) I'm having difficulty sticking to 30 minutes per day but I am making my self!

have a great weekend as well ;)