Sunday, January 17, 2010

Be the change

Many of my conversations with people are punctuated with awkward silences. And what I've noticed is that most of the time, the silence is because they are distracted by a text message or document or, or, something else. It seems like divided attention is the name of the game these days and I'm getting really frustrated by it.

Last night our family had dinner at Fresh Choice. Towards the end of dinner I noticed that everyone at the table was on their cell phone except for me. (Tim has a pass on this -- he was checking weather conditions for getting to Tahoe today.) I wasn't frustrated as much as I was dismayed and feeling lonely.

So what to do? I think I'm just going to try to be mindful of my own actions, which means when I'm talking to you, that's what I'm doing. Period. I admit, this will be a discipline for me. I like talking in person, but not so much on the phone, so if I'm having a lengthy phone conversation, chances are I'm also checking email at the same time. And to live in congruency with what I want, that needs to stop.

Gotta run!


Michael B said...

was reading your latest post when i got a call...had to take it. sorry! back later to finish the read!! ;)

Anonymous said...

I don't have kids so it's hard for me to relate... but can there be a rule of no cellphones, etc. at the dinner table - even when eating out? It can wait til everyone is in the car, no?

I am guilty myself. My husband has had it up to here with me and my iPhone. I have the Kindle app downloaded so I have to remind him that I'm not "playing with the phone" -- I am reading a book...

Still, there is a time and place.

Brit-Man said...

People can be like that though. As soon as you start doing something like that it becomes second nature. I woulsdn't really know about it though as I don't possess such a phone. I have never seen the need, especially when I could list more faults than upsides with them.

However people will develop their own little quirks that they are totally unaware of. For some its doesn't matter, for others they can be bad or unnacceptable, so you just have to live with peoples foibles, or try to discourage them, depending on what they are.

I'm sure you'll find a way to feel more comfortable in such situations.

Take care and best wishes.

:-) :-).


kchealy said...

This is a a huge pet peeve of mine (even though I am sometimes guilty of doing it myself ;-) ). Like you, I am going to try to do better myself in this department and will hope it rubs off on others.

Colette said...

I hate that too! Our rule is absolutely no cell phones or phones when it's dinner time...hubby included (checking the weather could wait). I had to tell my hubby that it's rude when he gets on his cell while dining out...looks like he's not interested in "us" at all. I then pointed out another couple who's husband was checking his phone and asked how that hubby understood and keeps his phone in my purse or the car when we go out :)

I also hate when people are on the phone while at the checkout, or having a loud conversation while waiting for something...rude!!

Like you, I would rather talk face to face with people. When I'm with someone and my phone rings, I may look at it, but if it's not one of the kids I will not respond until my visit is over!

Irene said...

I agree with you! I also don't like being on my cell phone when in a public place. I don't like to hear other people's phone conversations, so I'm sure they don't want to hear mine. Emily Post needs new rules to include cell phone/texting etiquette.