Saturday, January 02, 2010

The opposite of love...

...isn't hate, it's indifference.

When my kids are grounded, it's a punishment for me too. This morning Austin, who is grounded, made himself French toast for breakfast and was eating it in the kitchen. I tried to talk to him, but the only responses I got were "oh". So I stopped trying. And there was painful (to me) silence as I worked and he ate.

This is exactly the kind of thing that can color my whole day, because somehow it goes from healthy thinking (my kid is unhappy that he's grounded, he's not a morning person, he's not very happy with me right now) to more global thinking (nobody wants to talk to me, nobody likes me, I have no value). The reason I'm writing it here is that getting it out of my head helps.

8 comments:

Shelly said...

Oh, I know how you feel, Leslie. The kids give you the cold shoulder to punish you for punishing them. And even though you know you didn't do anything wrong, it still feels like you are a sh&thead. You have to love yourself for loving him enough to do the right thing, even if it hurts.

ATOM ANT said...

Having been down that road a couple of times, my advice is to remember that you are their mother, not their friend.

Keep the communication lines open and don't be afraid to bring up your teenage experiences and their associated consequences as to why you are laying down the law. Choose the behavior, choose the consequences.

Hang in there.

Eileen said...

Hey Leslie!

It's not your job to be his best bud...it's your job to raise him to be a good man. If he's mad at you, it is ok -- it will pass.

Gotta love the teenage years (not!)

I hope the rest of your day was more pleasant...hang in there!

cath said...

yeah..exactly the same thing happens with me and my kids with me ending up feeling like a 'bad mother'...gotta stay hardline with the teens...cant wait till all five of mine are teens..(not)

leslie said...

Thanks everyone!!! I feel much stronger AND better!

Brit-Man said...

You have never had no value at all.

Whatever someone might think, it's only temporary. You just need to keep focusing on what's right for you and what you think is best for all and for any given situation.

There's no point making yourself feel bad about something like this, when you might as well just look positively on things and try to move on.

You have a lot to be thankful for in your life and that is the most important thing, so don't give yourself a hard time, because you're a truly amazing person.

:-) :-).

Matt

Irene said...

I know of which you speak! Luckily, it's temporary. :) Hang in there. You're an awesome mom!

Irene said...

PS

HAPPY NEW YEAR!