25 Things About Me

A bunch of fun blog people are doing 25 things lists right now. I have no idea where the idea comes from, but it's a lot of fun. So I'm going to play:
1. I don't think I can come up with 25 things in the time I feel I can allocate to blogging, which isn't a whole lot of time.
2. Although I don't work, I spend most of my time feeling like I don't have enough time. I'm working on this.
3. I think gentleness and good-naturedness are the most underrated qualities in this world, and I actively seek to cultivate them in my life and with everyone I come into contact with.
4. I grew up thinking I'd be fat and crazy by the time I was 25. My mother struggled with weight issues (still does) and is mentally ill. So in my late teens/early 20s, a lot of my wild behavior was fueled by the belief that my body and mind would be gone soon. At 22 I found out I was adopted. I was hugely relieved.
5. I LOVE my parents I grew up with, and there's no doubt in my mind that your parents are those who raise you.
6. I LOVE my birth mother and extended family and actually feel more of a mother/daughter connection with her than with my mom, but that's because of my mom's mental illness.
7. I hate that I struggle with depression. I think that because of the depression,l I come across as very self-sufficient, because when I feel low, the need feels so scary huge that I can't risk sharing it with anyone.
8. Sometimes depression even gets in the way of my relationship with God. But we're working on it. :)
9. I use exercise and medication to keep balanced. People think I'm all disciplined when it comes to exercise, and I want to say, "Yeah, you would be disciplined too if without exercise, the YOUness of you ceased to exist!"
10. See, there's a benefit of depression.
11. I'm depressed by all this talk about my stupid struggle. (Truthfully, I'm just bored with it.)
12. I LOVE my husband, but didn't even consider dating him when we met. We met in an AA meeting and was still in school and was/is younger than I am (3 years). At the time I was dating someone who was 15 years older than me, so I saw Tim and thought "Nice kid." 3 years later I married that nice kid!
13. I think I got the better end of the deal in my marriage. Tim thinks the same thing. That's good. But I'm right!
14. I am an excellent cook, but my kids gymnastics schedule makes it very hard to like cooking at all. I'm hoping the new kitchen helps to change this!
15. Before I gave some of my cookbooks to the library, I had maybe 300 cookbooks that I've collected over the years.
16. Now my collection is pared down to a nice managable ... well ... I don't really know how many I have, but it's closer to 100 now.
17. I use cooking software called Now You're Cooking to manage my cookbooks, because I do use them. I put all the recipes my family likes best into the software, otherwise I'd never be able to find a recipe I wanted to make again.
18. I grew up feeling like I wasn't a very good girl. I must explain. My mom's unavailability made me think I missed the connection and life lessons that most girls get from their moms. (Again, I LOVE my mom, and I feel sad for what she struggles with, and what we've all missed as a result.) So I felt like I didn't do girl stuff (hair, makeup, clothes, etc.) right. I've since learned that I'm not the only one who feels this way.
19. Because of those feelings, shopping is frightening for me. But it's getting better.
20. I love being a boy mom, because the idea of parenting a girl frightened me (see #18).
21. I have six nieces, and I love them with all my heart, so I do not lack in girls to love -- hooray!
22. My sons -- well, I could go on and on about what I love about them, but right at this moment, I love most that they are quick-minded, fun, gentle, and loving.
23. Because I have only boys, my house is boy central sometimes, and that makes me crazy a lot of the time.
24. I am a big multi-tasker, and have done like 6 other things as I've written this list (moved laundry to the dryer, gotten drycleaning ready to take in, etc.). I am shocked to find that I'm at the end, and even more shocked that I know there are things I could keep going on.
25. I am at my happiest when Tim, Austin, Tucker and I are together laughing. And I wouldn't trade my life for anything!