Monday, May 15, 2006

The difference between 10 and 12

Mother's Day was wonderful. Tim and the boys cooked our first meal in the new kitchen -- french toast and scrambled eggs for M day breakfast. Went to church, went shopping, had lunch out, worked around the house, floated in the pool (my best thing), had dinner, watched Survivor with our neighbors, and to bed. I was treated to flowers from both kids (purchased with their own money, which is a BIG deal), a hand-made card, and special treatment all around. Perfect day, in my opinion.

But today I feel sad, and it's because my kids are growing up. Tucker is 10, and I got kisses all over my face, a million "I love you's", a specially folded napkin and an "m" carved into my french toast (!), all done whole heartedly and without embarassment. Austin is 12 and his expressions of love are quieter. He reached for my hand or my arm probably 10 times yesterday, gave me hugs, and when I was tucking him in, told me that a day isn't enough time to say thank you, so I should have a whole week.

Why do I feel sad? I think it's because I know that the no-holds-barred expressions of love will end soon. It doesn't mean there's less love -- if anything, as we get older, our love becomes more and more real. But the innocent sweetness of kisses that cover your face -- well, I have tears in my eyes as I type this, and it's because I know it doesn't last forever. My prayer is that my memory will be strong enough to capture what it feels like to be loved by my children right now and that I will remember how kisses on my whole face feel, both on my face and in my heart.

1 comment:

None said...

I will bet you anything that you'll remember all this forever. And you will be reminded of it when your grandchildren kiss your face on your birthday and grandparents' day just like your sons did yesterday!

Your sons will remember, too. And if they don't, it's your job to keep reminding them of the Mother's Day they carved an "M" in your toast and how much it meant to you.

I know this for a fact because that's what we did yesterday for Mother's Day - we listened to my 82 yr old MIL reminisce about her sweet baby (who is now 51) and all the sweet things he did for her as a boy.