I can handle disappointment. But disappointing others? It tears me up. And it feels like that's all I do these days. Who's disappointed?
A family member
Another family member
A close friend
They are disappointed for reasons that I'm sure feel very legitimate. But I'm having a hard time with knowing that I'm not living up to what they want. I alternate between wanting to shout, "Give me a break! I'm working all the time, running on very little sleep, and trying as hard as I can to keep up with life!!!" and wanting to melt like the Wicked Witch of the West in the Wizard of Oz. Fortunately boxing camp was tough this morning. Ten solid minutes of abs. 20 minutes of jump rope alternated with fast weight exercises. And 15 minutes non stop on the heavy bag. If not for boxing camp, I'd surely be breaking a chair today, and I don't have any more chairs I don't like!