Thursday, February 21, 2008

Disappointment

I can handle disappointment. But disappointing others? It tears me up. And it feels like that's all I do these days. Who's disappointed?

My husband
A family member
Another family member
A close friend

They are disappointed for reasons that I'm sure feel very legitimate. But I'm having a hard time with knowing that I'm not living up to what they want. I alternate between wanting to shout, "Give me a break! I'm working all the time, running on very little sleep, and trying as hard as I can to keep up with life!!!" and wanting to melt like the Wicked Witch of the West in the Wizard of Oz. Fortunately boxing camp was tough this morning. Ten solid minutes of abs. 20 minutes of jump rope alternated with fast weight exercises. And 15 minutes non stop on the heavy bag. If not for boxing camp, I'd surely be breaking a chair today, and I don't have any more chairs I don't like!

6 comments:

Colette said...

Leslie,
YOU ARE NOT A DISAPPOINTMENT!

Have these people actually told you they were disappointed, or are you internalizing things?? There is a huge difference between the two and I'd hate for you to feel this way when those people truely don't feel that way about you. I just can't imagine anyone thinking this of you, no matter what may have happened. You are the most hardest worker, down to earth, caring, giving, person I know. Stop thinking these negative thoughts right now!! You're to good of a person to be feeling this way. You are wonderful wife, super friend, and other family memebers...well, they aren't worth feeling this way over ;)

On a different note,
About the beef in Loomis, can you give me more info please. I don't want to stop eating beef and have been looking into local places who don't do that kind of high volume. Thanks girlfriend.

Brit-Man said...

I think you just need to re-evaluate how you really, and ask yourself if what you feel is a real situation, or stemming from some sort of inner fight.

Whatever happens, good luck, and don't be down on yourself. You're a wonderful person, and maybe you're just seeing yourself in a fuzzy way.

:-) :-).

Matt

Eileen said...

You can NEVER control (and often can only SLIGHTLY influence) how someone else feels about you.

You once said to me that it sounded like I was out of balance. You were so right. Perhaps these people are saying that about you...time to slow down a bit? Just a thought....

p.s. I finished the "Eat Pray Love" audiobook. All 11 cds. And I wish there were more!

Regina Kettlebell Instructor said...

Sorry to hear that Leslie. Sometimes, it might be beneficial to ask those people why they feel that way. Often it has more to do with what is going on with them they what is going on with you.

do they feel neglected? disappointed happens. As women, mothers, wives we are often asked to put everyone else's needs ahead of our own. When we put our needs first sometimes it is looked on as us being selfish. I think the best thing to do would be to not only ask the people who said this to you what they need but to also ask for you what you need as well.

Maybe sit down with each person and ask them why they feel that way when you are calm or if its too upsetting, have them write it down and you can read it and review it and ask them if you can have some time to think about what they are saying before responding. I know for me if I try to respond in the heat of the moment it ends up being worse.
I'd start with your husband, than the family members. and see what you come up with. also, anytime you need to vent, you know where to find me. Hang in there Leslie. You are doing the best you can with what you got going on and so is everyone else. :) :) Regina

Regina Kettlebell Instructor said...

Sorry to hear that Leslie. Sometimes, it might be beneficial to ask those people why they feel that way. Often it has more to do with what is going on with them they what is going on with you.

do they feel neglected? disappointed happens. As women, mothers, wives we are often asked to put everyone else's needs ahead of our own. When we put our needs first sometimes it is looked on as us being selfish. I think the best thing to do would be to not only ask the people who said this to you what they need but to also ask for you what you need as well.

Maybe sit down with each person and ask them why they feel that way when you are calm or if its too upsetting, have them write it down and you can read it and review it and ask them if you can have some time to think about what they are saying before responding. I know for me if I try to respond in the heat of the moment it ends up being worse.
I'd start with your husband, than the family members. and see what you come up with. also, anytime you need to vent, you know where to find me. Hang in there Leslie. You are doing the best you can with what you got going on and so is everyone else. :) :) Regina

Laurie said...

So not a fun place to be, but do what's right for you. You can't make everyone happy all the time, but if you're happy the people around you will be happy too.