Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Remembering what I've forgotten

I've forgotten something important and I just remembered it: sugar makes me crazy! In my love of running and the joy of calories burned, I have completely forgotten that if I don't watch my intake of sugar, my mood takes a nosedive.

Saturday's long run provided some time to think about why I was feeling so out of sorts. I was pondering why I spend so much time living in the lands of fear and confusion. My life is great and I have much to be thankful for, so why why WHY do I feel frightened and confused so much of the time? And yesterday I was thinking about it again, when a lightbulb went on and I remembered "Oh yeah, I don't do this fitness thing because of how it makes me look. I do it because of how it makes me feel!" And I'd forgotten that.

So starting today I'm going to eat "clean" which for me means staying far away from processed sugar. I'll betcha my mood will improve dramatically. I'll be sure to keep you posted...


Irene said...

It makes sense. I wonder if that's why I felt funky all summer. Eating clean does make a person feel better!

Enjoy your Tuesday!

Brit-Man said...

I would say, you just need if it's possible, to find out exactly why you feel frightened and confused sometimes, if you aren't sure already.

Heck in this world when some of the best people have nothing, and some of the worst have it good, and one day can make a big difference, it's easy to think why am I someone, that got these good things, or a pretty smooth path?

What if i'm someone who is heading for the biggest and most painful shock imaginable?

You could start to think all sorts, and wonder if you deserve things, or if you're chosen to have what you've got, for some divine or fateful reason.

Me personally, I think of things as what they are. I know things could go disasterously wrong for me, but I don't dwell on it. I don't believe I've had it easy. I have never had a picture perfect life, in the bosom of mega rich parents, cosseted and wrapped in cotton wool.

I don't like some of the worlds people, or the way nature can take away what you have in a flash, but I'm glad I know about it, no matter how bad it gets in this world, as it makes more developed, but whilst I have to live with wondering, if a certain situation should have been handled differently, and having quite a bit of hindsight to my name, you just keep on walking, try to learn from things, whilst still being yourself, and still trying to stay true to yourself, and what you believe as an honest decent person.

I know I'm luckier than millions of others, and I whilst I sometimes think, wouldn't it be nice to magic up a slightly different past, you then wonder if having that fictional power to change certain things, wouldn't also erase their effects, leaving you ignorant about them, and able to potentially get stung again.

You've got a great life Leslie, and take it from someone who's read a lot of what you say. You are one of the truest people I know. Talk straight from the Heart, genuine, and very, very human.

You might have what you consider possible design flaws, with your mental or emotional sides, but you're a million miles off being anything close to spoilt or defective goods, and whether you sometimes lack the courage to believe or trust in yourself, to do the things you want, or be who you are, or you just haven't yet found the way, to make all that you are as visable to yourself, as it is to others like me, you are nothing, but a multi-dimensional woman, who is a great advert for being human.

For all you have in life, and all you are, you should be proud, and sometimes we question ourselves, as otherwise we make more mistakes, or possibly go down the wrong roads, but it's how often we question ourselves, that matters.

Occasionally is fine, too often, and then we need to ask the mother of all question questions, why am I questioning myself so much? Why am I treating myself like a fly under the microscope all the time?

I know your life sometimes hasn't been easy, and you've sometimes felt like inside, you are possibly some kind of restless spirit or soul, never settled, never completely at home in your skin for some reason. if that doesn't sound too personal or full on, but I know from the way you write, express and connect with others, you've got so much inside of you, that's positive, human,and enlightening, you just want to bottle it, and sell it to the worst of the worst, just so they might be a little better off emotionally, and less scummy.

I certainly would never think any less of you for sometimes feeling emotionally down, as I know the sort of person you are, and your words have often told me a lot about what kind of person you are, and what a wonderful woman you are, and how it makes others feel to be touched by a lady of your great human presence, stature and caring, so I'd say in summary, don't be afraid to question yourself now and then, it's okay to be human, but don't fear yourself either.

After 46+ years, you're pretty much everything you're ever going to be in life, not in terms of wealth, or possessions, but in human terms, human value, development etc etc, and if that's what being you is, then I hope when I'm 46, I might be a similar type of inner human to you, as it's no bad thing at all, and you're definitely a great example of being human, for the rest of us.

So keep on being you, and don't forget now and again, to appreciate you for being you, and know that no matter what you feel at any given moment, others will always feel better or as good about you as you will, and you'll always be the brilliant person I know you for, and the wise head on young shoulders I admire so much, and if getting older means being the type of person you are, then I don't think I need to be worried about heading into my 50's when the time comes.

it just means I have plenty of time, to appreciate more how I've turned out, and to make sure I stay that way on the inside.

You're always an inspiration, and a great shining light, and I'm certainly proud to know you, so THANK YOU, because it always means a lot, and it's always appreciated, even if you'll never hear me say it to your face.

I hope you're having a great day, and yes, some of us don't put our bodies through this, to look like catalogue models, but hey in your case, you do, so take that as plus as well, and don't knock it.

It might not be one of the prime reasons to live like you do, but it's a fact, and you should be proud of how you look, and what you achieve in all aspects of life.

You deserve to look and feel fantastic, you work hard for it misses, so pat yourself on the back, and no worries okay :-) :-).


Stef said...

SUGAR IS EVIL!!!!!! lol!


Colette said...

Wow, Matt wrote another book ;)

I love that feeling too of waking up to see who took the time to read my blog and post. It's nice and I appriciate it too.

I think you've talked many times about the sugar thing. Next time I'll just have to write you a note reminding you about it ;) You are a smart woman and yes, you do have a great life. Fitness does make a person feel so much better and alive. You'll do what you need to do...I have faith in you ;)

Have a super day, girlfriend!