Insecurity attack

This morning I was confident and enthusiastic and ready for anything. Then I went shopping. What is it about shopping that reduces me to such an insecure child? I was looking for a dress to wear for our anniversary (17 years on Saturday, and we're celebrating with a weekend in San Francisco, sans children!). There were several possibilities, and I actually ended up buying something really cute, with some sexy black boots to wear with it. But I felt sad and lonely and insecure the entire time. Isn't shopping supposed to be fun?

I really am looking forward to celebrating our anniversary. When we were married, Tim was a huge SF Giants fan. In fact, we rented a TV for our room in Jamaica on our honeymoon so we could watch the playoffs. And we were trying to fly into San Francisco the night of the huge earthquake in 1989. I say this to underscore how important the Giants used to be to Tim. Until they broke his heart by ALMOST going to the World Series (or something else awful like that -- I'm not sure of the event, but I do know whatever it was, that event along with the player's strike years ago, sucked all of Tim's love of baseball away).

ANYWAY, because of love of baseball, we kind of never did anything for our anniversary, cuz early October is a critical time in a fan's life, right? Well, this year we're doing it differently, and I'm so excited! We're staying at The Omni, which Tim says is really nice. And we're having dinner at Boulevard, a hot restaurant according to my girlfriend. (I made reservations 3 weeks ago, and was able to get a table at 9:15 -- the only time they had open -- so others must like the place too!)

Ok, now I'm talking myself into a little excitement. It is a happy thing to have a fun dress and sexy boots and to go away with the man you love. And it's an even happier thing to love the same man (and have him love you back!) after 17 years of marriage!

Guess my insecurity attack is over -- whew!